A Thread in Subconscious / 潜意识的一条线


These photos were taken in the first half year of 2020. For me at that time, taking pictures was like a knee-jerk reaction. I followed my intuition to shoot. However, at the end of the year when I got my photos developed, I found out that I couldn't remember these photos.

They were like lost memory fragments. When grouped together, they became a thread that runs through my subconscious - yet, detached from my memories. While I couldn't relate to the individual pieces, the thread resonated strongly with me. It seemed like the thread was saying something to me, leading me somewhere.

It was like a psychotherapy game of "what do you see in these pictures?" There was a moment when I looked at these photos and realized that everything in my vision, at that time, seemed so far away and alone - the falling sun, the tree at the end of the island, the people who were running away, and the floating on the sea. It seemed that the one who took the photos didn't exist, he was just the tree, or the crow, or the float, observing the world he was unconnected with. Subconsciously, the things he photographed became him,  he became the things he photographed.   

I couldn't tell if it is because of what I am feeling right now, or if I had always been seeing things that way. But this thread in my head is saying that with me. And for the more of what I feel, I can't describe them in words. All I can do is share these very personal feelings with you.

© Xuemeng Li, 2024